Clarissa A asked:
My friend is inviting boys to her birthday and i really want to go but my mom isn’t cool with boys and girls together except school and she doesn’t like me dating or my friends dating because she thinks it will rub off on me that i want to date but i doesn’t i know its werid but she very protective what do i do i don’t want to lie to her please what do i do?
My friend is inviting boys to her birthday and i really want to go but my mom isn’t cool with boys and girls together except school and she doesn’t like me dating or my friends dating because she thinks it will rub off on me that i want to date but i doesn’t i know its werid but she very protective what do i do i don’t want to lie to her please what do i do?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Just tell your mom what the situation is; it’ll give her time to acquaint herself with the parents of your friend. Do they have the same values as your mom or are they way to liberal and just let things happen without supervision.
Basic rule of thumb, never put yourself in a compromising position. You want to maintain your mom’s trust; she the one that really cares about your well being.
Either convince her and tell her that she can trust you, to give you a chance or just don’t go, with a mother like yours shes just over protective, soz.
Don’t worry my mom is the same way. Just ask her if you can go to the party and if she asks about boys just say you don’t like anyone in your school because they are so obnoxious.
Let her know that’s you’re an independent person who won’t let others’ decisions effect yours. Let her know that you think of guys as friends for now. If you do this maturely enough, she should get that you won’t go dating behind her back and let you go to a party with guys.
Have your mom talk to your friends mom about the party. Is the party going to be chaperoned by your friends parents? If so, perhaps that will help to put your mom at ease.
Good luck!!
~_~
Attending a party where boys will be present is not the same thing as dating.
Just inform your mother that your friend has invited both boys and girls to her party, but that it is not a “date” party. Also assure her that your friend’s parents will be home (if this is true).
After the party, you will need to have a separate discussion with your mom about dating. Tell her that you will be adult in a few years, and need to practice NOW the social skills you will need to know THEN. Ask her to brainstorm with you for ideas on how you can safely build those skills and gain independence over time, since she will not always be there to protect you.
Ask her to share her concerns about dating with you so that you two can devise solutions to those issues now, instead of sticking your heads in the sand and ignoring them.
This way you are working WITH your mother, not against her, and she feels like she has some control and positive influence over your life.
You should tell her that boys will be there. If you don’t tell her and go to the party knowing that she would not approve you should get in trouble. I would recommend grounding or spanking as the best punishment for this offense, however you can avoid all of that by telling her beforehand and seeing what she says about it.