I have been talking to a girl on a christian dating site and she just told me she has CP and is in wheelchair?
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
No matter if you lie or tell the truth…she is going to be hurt.
If you have been talking to her.. just keep talking to her. She is probably just nothing for a good friend to talk too. Besides, it probably makes her feel good to have a guy talk to her. Don’t be judgemental and continue to be friends with her.
just talk to her like you would talk to a friend. don’t say anything that might imply you like her. if she asks if you like her say no.
just stop talking to her…or stop looging on the the site
Ask her if she’ll get better, pray for her, and see if you can meet some other people while STILL talking to her. She trusted you enough to tell you that shes handicapped. Don’t break trust and kick her to the curb. That’s rude, and cruel. Stay in touch, and keep it friendly- thats all you have to do.
just tell her that ‘god’ appeared to you in a dream and told you that it wasnt meant to be
Nothing says you’re going to be meeting her. Keep talking with her as if nothing is wrong – because there isn’t any problem with her.
This is your hang-up, your problem… don’t make it hers too. I’m sure she’s had more than enough guys tune her out for being disabled. And pray to God that he will be more patient with you… Karma is a b*tch…
I am sorry to say this, but like it or not, hiding that from you was wrong of her. She must know that unfortunate as it is, that can be a problem for many people, and had she told you in the beginning maybe you two would have ended there or you could have had proper time to think about it, but to tell you this far in is not fair to either of you. She will be hurt but I think you need to tell her that she has to be honest about this with people. I would not be eager to share it either, but it is a huge facet of her life, and it brings a new dynamic to any relationship she will ever be in. If friends and family have not told her this by now, or she has refused to accept it, she will only get hurt again. My brother has been with all types of women, including a girl who was in a wheelchair for a little while, and as long as they were upfront about these things so he could make an informed decision as to date them or not, all was well.
First question is how long have you been talking? How far away does she live? The easy answer is she is too far away to consider for a serious relationship. Or you can say you were talking to a few girls and one other seems to have more of a connection than she does.
Why break it off? You’ve been talking to her as a friend. Is she suddenly not friend material?
Just keep it as friends and don’t lead her to believe that it could be more. She needs social interaction just as much as anyone else.
Through this she will learn that she can’t have everyone she wants just like the rest of us can’t. That doesn’t mean that you can’t continue your online friendship with her. It will help you to develop your ability to view women as more than just obtainable and unobtainable.
Expand your viewpoint and keep her as a friend. You can learn a lot about yourself by befriending those less fortunate than yourself. It could mean a lot to her to know that her friendship with you wasn’t rejected. She may already struggle with self esteem issues from CP. You don’t have to date her. Just maintain your present level of contact.
Best Wishes
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Just because she has CP and uses a wheelchair does not mean she isn’t healthy.
As for you, its too late for you to say you don’t want to be a jerk because you already are one for changing your attitude to her because of something as irrelevant and meaningless as her physical disability.