The title pretty much says it all. I’ve heard multiple people (mostly women, not to be sexist but that’s just how it’s played out) say that it’s fine to let a girl know how you feel about her even though she’s dating someone else. This simply makes no sense to me. It’s selfish at best, and you’re pushing your way into what is presumably a healthy relationship. That certainly doesn’t do good things for a relationship. Biblical answers would be encouraged, which is why I put this question into the religion and spirituality category
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, they say "falling in love" is very close to insanity, with all the chemical changes going on in our brain and flooding our bloodstream!
But Biblically speaking, LOVE is not an emotion. It is a choice that is not based on any selfish gain. It is saying, what can I give to you? Not, what can you do for me? I Corinthians says it best:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…" I Cor 13:4-8
Most people aren’t thinking of this kind of love though when they first meet someone. We are blinded by the attraction and our selfish wants… this kind of love usually comes a bit later…
Dating ain’t married.
High hopes, some people just need to take a chance.
Your trouble is with the girl and how she responds to him, not with him.
The Bible says this about relationships:
"to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
1 Corinthians 7:8
because some people only think about themselves.
Infidelity or fornication doesn’t come into play here, unless one of them were married. The Bible doesn’t support adultery or fornicators.
Its wrong. How people manage it confuses me. You must learn that even some of the things in shops are for display and not touch. If you show interest, even in a museum, you seen as thief or likely to real. But one cannot judge. People always have reasons, so one must think before even lifting a finger.
They can’t.
Now I’m still learning but, nowhere in the text, have I seen such actions. The thing you’re touching upon with this question is a little thing that I like to call “Rationalizing Sin”.
“Ok. Don’t look don’t look. Fine. I’ll look but I won’t touch. I’ll touch…but I won’t taste. I’ll taste but…”
By the time the fool done figured out what he or she has gotten themselves into, 9 times out of 10, their already at the other person’s place about to partake or are already partaking in something they shouldn’t.
I believe you are correct in your standing. A lot of of people are simply to weak to resist what they see with their eyes. And, a good example of a man justifying this type of lust is David (A powerful man, slayer of Goliath just happened to see a baaaaaad mamma jamma taking a bath one night and, before you know it, he was killing husbands and doing cover-ups)
In the end, pursuing something that you know is taken can only end with disaster. Either you get caught or you slide right on bad, physically/emotionally attached to someone you don’t even love. Not to mention, you might have to kill someone so your peoples don’t find out. (Little joke about David. No? Whatever!)
Anyways, I hope you continue to seek more spiritual guidance. I’m doing the same thing and have heard this argument as well. Even without biblical knowledge, it just lacks sense. Why in the world would anyone choose to be second? (Shrugs) Lol.