Taylor B asked:
so there is a girl who i have been hanging out with reccently and has told me that she likes me. i may have feelings for her too but i am a Christian and follow the guidlines i am given. this girl recently has turned to God and has given up her past of what has happened to her including losing her virginity. im not sure what the rules are of dating anyone with this sort of sutuation. do you have any advice of what to do?
so there is a girl who i have been hanging out with reccently and has told me that she likes me. i may have feelings for her too but i am a Christian and follow the guidlines i am given. this girl recently has turned to God and has given up her past of what has happened to her including losing her virginity. im not sure what the rules are of dating anyone with this sort of sutuation. do you have any advice of what to do?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
iF YOU’RE OVER 18, THE ONLY RULE YOU NEED TO REMEMBER IS PEACH SCHNAPPS.
As Jesus said when he was writing in the sand, “Who among you condemns this woman?” As everyone had some sin in his life, each one dropped his stone and left. And then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.”
Forgive her. She is a new creation in Christ.
Sucks for you and not literally either
Hi Friend,
That’s great to hear. What you need to do is, as a Christian man, be a leader and example to her. Everyone has boundaries that vary, even Christians. When my husband and I were dating we would not allow anything that led to lust (as stated in the Bible). We set our boundary as a simple peck kiss, and it allowed us to show affection without lusting after one another. Beware though, it takes much prayer and focus on God to stop from going beyond that point. Several months later, we were married and that day was just as spectacular as God ordained it should be.
Forgive her as Christ has forgiven us and serve her in love and leadership. I hope all goes well. God bless your relationship.
Christian “dating” is an unscriptural concept.
But because it is so widely practiced in the west, 1 Corinthians 7 will outline some of God’s desires for unmarried couples. Paul answer a similar question to yours from the church at Corinth in that chapter.
Well, the Bible never speaks explicitly about dating, but personally, I’d go for it.
Christians can date, i know many that do, even sleep with eachother but i think thats wrong in christianity anyways
This is a question for your pastor or priest, or some other leading figure within your church. The only universal rule among Christians regarding dating practices is no sex before marriage, and your church may have other rules that your pastor/priest can tell you about.
It’s also something that you should talk to her about, if you start a relationship. Decide where your “limits” are and how the relationship is going to work.
Being Christians you will both be able to enjoy dating as God would like you to. Join a youth group at a church where you can hang around and double date with other Christian couples who will not be out drinking and making out – makes it easier and you all can discuss how you are living to become more like Christ. (Romans 8:29).
Guidelines are to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Ask God for discernment about dating and to help you date as a Christian. With your eyes set on God and hanging out with Christians your age, you will both be fine. Specific guidelines for you should come from your parents or your church group/pastor who know you better than those on this site. Maybe this will help that I found for you:
“Where do I draw the line?”
A good verse to start out with would be Psalm 119:9, it sets the tone for finding the rest of the verses:
Psalm 119:9
How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to your word.
It’s easy to be told rules but rules don’t always work in all cases. One thing I really like is principles because they can be applied in any case. Here are four principles that I was given by my one of my mentors that applies well to dating etiquette:
Can I thank God the Father?
Does it glorify God?
Can I do it in Jesus’ name?
What would Jesus do?
For me these are almost the hardest issues. That is why it is so important to know what God has to say about it. Here are more verses:
Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. (NIV)
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Peter 2:11
Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
2 Timothy 2:22
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
virginity can not be reversed, but chastity CAN be re-dedicated. Is this something you both will commit to for the present and the future? is this something she regrets, and will commit to now if she’s a Christian?
Be certain if you have feelings for her first though, neither of you need emotional temptations when things are so young and new… you can judge her character and virtue without being intimate or spending a lot of alone time with each other.
take a listen to these two broadcasts, they are excellent materials:
When Love’s in View: Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships
By: Conway Edwards, Jada Edwards