candice m asked:
I’ve been dating my best friends husbands brother for a few months now. And lately she has been distant and then she tells me she feels we can’t be best friends anymore we can be just friends, that since I’m dating her brother in law she feels awkward with things and doesn’t feel we can be as close as we have always been. I understand certain things we may not be able to share certain things with each other but that shouldn’t mean we need to downgrade are friendship. I’m I just overreacting? Or how can two best friends stay best friends and maybe eventually grow into sisters?
I’ve been dating my best friends husbands brother for a few months now. And lately she has been distant and then she tells me she feels we can’t be best friends anymore we can be just friends, that since I’m dating her brother in law she feels awkward with things and doesn’t feel we can be as close as we have always been. I understand certain things we may not be able to share certain things with each other but that shouldn’t mean we need to downgrade are friendship. I’m I just overreacting? Or how can two best friends stay best friends and maybe eventually grow into sisters?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
that’s a weird situation because you’re getting a bit into the competition aspect now, what if her mother-in-law now likes you more and she’s jealous. what if she’s a bit pissed at her brother-in-law and needs to vent but feels she can’t because that’s your bf. maybe she’s scared if she vents about her hubby to you, you’ll tell his brother and it will get back to her hubby!
I think she’s just being stupid. You were friends before you dated the two brothers, and that’s what you should tell her. She’s probably afraid that if she tells you something about her husband it will eventually reach him, but you have to convince her that your friendship is above that!
To answer your title question – I would say yes, it’s certainly possible.
But after reading your desc, I would agree that your friend sounds jealous – and more or less, getting territorial and competitive with her husband. If you were to get along great, then get serious and maybe even marry the brother – I think you may have to understand that the dynamics btwn your friendship may… or IMO, will change big-time.
Friends are one thing, but family you’ll be dealing with family and extended family issues, (some could be deep or historical) possible fights, reunions, possible gossip and maybe even practical or financial worries.
If your friend was more secure, I don’t think this would be an issue. But if I were you, I would have a talk with her to find out what’s bugging her about this – then address it. B/c it wouldn’t be too cool I think to date the brother, knowing this may have bad consequences. It would seriously change the dynamics in your friendship, but that doesn’t mean you can still remain best or close buds.
Maybe she’s looking at what might happen between the two of you if you and her brother- in- law don’t staying together. What I would do is respect her wishes and in time you’ll find out why she is saying what she has said.